(Bean and I are still sick. I’ve actually gotten worse, hooray for me. I’m totally foggy headed; so obviously, it’s time to talk inane apartment details. Apologies in advance for typos, non sequiturs, and my rambling.)

Only as I’ve gotten older have I realized that design isn’t just the bright turquoise accent wall, it’s also the details. You can drag a beautiful vintage velvet sofa into your third floor walk up, but if the paint’s the wrong shade, or your outlets are all covered in crusty paint, or your windows don’t actually open…the beautiful sofa won’t fix it or even hide it.

And so there I was a few years ago, with this realization that none of the doors in our century-old San Francisco apartment worked. Knobs didn’t turn, latches didn’t latch, locks just looked like odd bumps. Some knobs turned…and kept turning to no effect.

People before me had “fixed” these problems by jerry-rigging new clasp closures for the door. Problem? SOLVED. Except not at all really and seriously, people? Have you noticed your door actually comes with entirely acceptable (likely even beautiful) hardware, and instead of fixing anything, you screwed in some cheap door catch on the top frame? (This is also likely why we have two chain door locks on our front door. When we moved in, the bottom chain lock was inoperable due to all the paint clogging it up. Someone fixed that…by just adding another chain lock above it. NAILED IT.)

I know.  You’re dying to know how to strip paint off door knobs. It’s actually supremely easy and basically free, and I recommend all of you living in similar century old SF apartments do it.

DO IT.

So, here’s what your doors may look like:

 

 

Look familiar, San Francisco?

 

 

This is what it could look like. Better, yes? And once you strip several coats of paint off hardware, the hardware actually begins to work again. Magic!

Also, for those of you who are all “This is a rental apartment! Have you asked your landlord???” I like to think of this as restoration rather than making changes to an apartment. Our landlord is very lax with what we do to the place, but I also don’t think a landlord would come in all, “I cannot believe you stripped all that lovely crusty paint off these inoperable door knobs, and turned them into gleaming examples of antique brass hardware. I shall hold onto your security deposit as retribution for this heinous act.”

Also, this project is so cheap, and has such nice pay off; I didn’t think twice about wasting that $10 on a rental.

Let’s get started.

 

What you’ll need:

Small pot you never plan on using again (we got ours from a dollar store on Mission Street)

Dish soap

Steel wool

Philips head and flat head screwdrivers (whatever matches your hardware screws, which is  likely a combination of both)

Swiss army knife, for its spike attachment

Spackle

Sandpaper

Paint (to match doors/windows)

 

• The first step is to get all metalwork off your doors, door frames and windows. I’m sure there are online tutorials for proper ways to do this. I went with the “unscrew everything you see” approach and it worked fine. You’ll want to remember which door locks and knobs went with which door.

 

• It can be difficult (UNDERSTATEMENT) to unscrew screws that are so covered in paint you can’t even see the screw head. I used a spike attachment on a swiss army knife to chip away at where the screw head was, to get it to the point that I could use a screwdriver on it

 

• Now, put everything — hardware and screws — into a pot, cover with water and a healthy amount of dish soap, and boil. When it’s boiling, you can turn the heat down to a simmer. Simmer your brass sludge stew for at least 45 minutes.

 

• While that’s going on, you need to deal with your doors and windows. There was likely so much paint on your door that there’s a crater where the door knob plate used to be. Spackle that up, and sand when dry so that the surface looks acceptable. When all is dry, touch up with paint so the door looks brand new.

 

• Once your brass stew is complete, bring it over to an empty sink and dump out the water. Wait a few minutes until the metalwork is cool enough to the touch that you can handle it. You’ll likely be shocked at how easily the paint comes off. It comes off in sheets. Use steel wool to burnish the brass and remove any stubborn paint spots.

 

• Let everything dry.

 

• When everything’s dry, re-attach your hardware.

 

• Spend the rest of your Saturday evening admiring your door knobs. Instagram some photos. Go ahead, open and close your doors just to  hear the metal latch. Debate painting doors black to make brass really pop.