I got into an e-mail conversation with a pregnant friend the other day and out tumbled all the random breastfeeding facts that all nursing moms know. For some reason, this is knowledge every nursing mom has, but no one else.  Maybe we don’t want to scare future moms? You’ll see so many posts about how much it hurts and split nipples and mastitis, which I suppose are scary too, but not much about the grunt work of what it’s like to actually breastfeed. Or how breastfeeding even works.

So, for the future moms out there, here’s what I had no idea about breastfeeding.

 

1. Output determines future supply

Your body adjusts its milk supply based on how much you are nursing. Nursing less will lead to a drop in supply. Nursing more will (likely? hopefully?) lead to a boost in supply.

 

2. A breast pump extracts less milk than a newborn, if it extracts any milk at all

You might only pump 2oz, but that doesn’t mean your baby is only drinking 2oz. A breast pump just isn’t as efficient as a baby. And, your body may not perform for a breast pump.

And, like me, you could be a pumping rock star and then, well, find one day that you’re no longer able to pump any milk. Who knows why.

 

3. Put points 1 and 2 together = exclusively pumping is extremely hard to pull off

Since output determines future supply, and a breast pump isn’t very good at producing output…well, pumping makes it hard to keep up supply. Missing a nursing session every now and then is fine. Women who pump at work or who exclusively pump are basically superheroes for what they’ve been through.

 

4. Comfort nursing is real, and it will take hours

Newborns like to suck on things, which is a useful biological trick since the more they nurse, the more supply you’ll (hopefully) have. (See Point #1.) The second night Bean was home, I decided I’d nurse whenever she did the sticking-her-tongue-out thing, and she basically nursed for 4 or 5 hours off and on. We did this every night for a month. Which is a good thing! Yay, milk supply! Even when a newborn isn’t comfort nursing, nursing can take up to 40 minutes per session. And you’ll be nursing 9 or more times per day.

Basically, this is the time to finally get into Breaking Bad or Friday Night Lights, is what I’m saying.

 

5. You’ll feel a lot of anxiety about whether you’re producing enough, even if your kid is in the 70th percentile for weight and height.

Maybe this was just me, but other friends have echoed the same. It is tough not to know how much your kid is drinking. You’ll wonder whether she’s waking up all night long because she’s hungry, and feel the guilt to go along with that. You’ll resent your body when your baby wants to nurse and there’s nothing there, and I’m not just talking the first few weeks. Even if you have a working breastfeeding relationship and your child is a plump 7 month old, you’ll still wonder if you’re producing enough. And, yes, you will have felt this anxiety all 7 months.

 

6. If your kid is born with food allergies or  intolerances, you might need to cut those foods out of your diet while breastfeeding

So, this was the one that walloped me. Babies can exhibit symptoms from whole-body skin rashes and projectile vomiting to stomach ulcers and bloody poop. Bean had food intolerances to: dairy, soy, soy adjacent foods like peas, eggs, and maybe peanuts and tree nuts. Six other children in my family had the same issues. We know several women who had to go on complete food elimination diets to find the culprits. One poor mom lasted on only rice and lamb for months.

Food elimination diets, even one like mine, totally suck. Seeing your newborn in distress totally sucks. Knowing that your body is causing your kid distress? Unimaginable guilt.

 

7. It is stressful being your kid’s only food source

Related to #5, even if your supply is perfection, it is still not fun being your kid’s sole food source. That is a lot of pressure. Especially (ESPECIALLY) if pumping isn’t working out for you. And triple especially (see #6) if your baby is allergic to most formulas. There is no out, and you will feel it. I felt a huge weight lift when she started eating solids.

 

8. You may experience hormone crashes every time you drop a feeding

NO IDEA ABOUT THIS ONE. Until it happened to me. It was akin to experiencing postpartum anxiety, on a monthly basis as Bean dropped nursing sessions. It is no exaggeration. If you breastfeed, watch out for this as when it happens the first time (in our case, when we started solids), you may be caught completely unawares.

 

9. You will forget what it feels like to feel full

I noticed one day at dinner that I no longer felt full, ever. I would basically stop eating when I got tired of eating, or got bored with whatever I was eating. This is superterrific for satiating every single craving you have. By month 4, though, it gets tiring.

 

10. By the time your kid is fully weaned or fully off formula, you probably won’t care at all about how you fed them that first year.

I hope everyone else out there feels the same peace of mind.