Last year, Dave and I managed to do all of our holiday shopping in one evening, passing a laptop around the sofa, feeding in remote shipping destinations, all while watching a movie and wearing Indoor Pants. It felt so completely easy and satisfying, and knowing we had the entire holiday season to play around the city without worrying about finding just the perfect gift for our families…it felt miraculous.

Then, of course, it occurred to me that Bean had no idea any of this was happening, hadn’t taken part at all in the gifts going to her (adored) cousins, and likely would show up on Christmas and only see the part where there’s a mountain of gifts just for her, with no idea where they came from or where anyone else’s gifts came from for that matter. I had completely taken the gifting part out of her Christmas equation.

As a kid, I still remember the distinct excitement/pain of my mom loading the three of us into the car for our annual trip to Kiddie City, the toy store emporium on the outskirts of Philadelphia. SO MANY TOYS. None of them for us. This trip was all about buying Christmas presents for our cousins. Cousins who were the same age as we were, getting the presents we wanted for ourselves.

But, every year, we knew precisely all the time and energy that went into buying gifts, figuring out the wrapping paper, delicately wrapping each one and decorating it. We knew the thrill of watching our cousins stare down the mystery boxes, knowing what they were about to open to joyous shouts and hollers. Oh man, the feeling of buying a toy that came in a really big box, and then handing it over.

I want Bean to have those same memories, the same adoration for her cousins, but I’m not sure how to do it in the modern world. She only has two cousins who live nearby, and if I’m being honest, I even get those gifts shipped directly to them (IT’S SO MUCH EASIER.)

So far, I’ve been using our cat as a proxy, starting small. Bean and I head out to the neighborhood and she picks out gifts for our cat. We wrap them together, pretending to “hide” them from the (completely uninterested) cat, and place them under the tree.

I have a feeling that next year, I’m going to have to accept trips to book stores, toy stores and the post office and suck up the shipping charges. My easy online shopping holiday extravaganza may be coming to a close. How have all of you managed this? How do you teach your little kids about giving gifts, not just receiving them?