Bean and I just started going to a Parent-Child Montessori class, and I picked up this tip that actually works on my toddler. I thought, “That’s sweet; there also ain’t no way.” And then Bean picked up her shoes, placed them in a basket, and then calmly took a toy off the shelf.
So. The trick? Phrase things as “Oh, you’d like to play with that toy. Ok, first, let’s put your shoes in the basket, and then you can play with your toy.” (As opposed to: “Bean, no, we’re not playing with toys yet. Do you want to come here and take your shoes off? Let’s take your shoes off. Bean, come sit here. Bean. Come. Sit. Here. Please. OK, now put your shoes away. Wait, no, come back, put your shoes in the basket. Like this, see? Like this? In the basket. Ok. You’re welcome.”)
“First let’s do X, then we’ll do Y.” Also, no demands in the form of questions.
Give it a try and report back.
(UPDATE: It just worked again! I was folding laundry, which is a cue for Bean to sprinkle the contents of said piles around the living room like fairy dust. “Bean, first, we’re going to put all your clothes in a pile, and then we’re going to take them to your closet.” The sweet child brought the clothes back and put them neatly in a pile.)
