(I’m sick today. This is all I got in me. Let’s talk white paint. Again.)

A few months ago, I brought you the greatest story of our time: the epic journey for the perfect San Francisco white paint. Do you know how many search results that gets? We may be a city of people searching for a white paint that appears…white.

I’ve read tips and suggestions online from decorators who rue San Francisco’s light. I have no idea what it is about our mysterious climate, but SF skies have a tendency to make white paints break either pink or green. Add to that the normal tendency for northern facing rooms to look a little blue. And then add in your different incandescent/flourescent/CFL lighting options, and practically none of us know what color our walls are anymore.

Basically, it’s like buying a pretty white and gold dress, taking it home and not understanding why it’s suddenly blue and black. Where’s the dress you bought? What the hell.

And so it is that I painted my bathroom pink with a really kicky acidic green trim. Yay, me.

There are no solutions in this post, just a lessons learned so that you don’t do the same thing. Let’s take a look at where it all went wrong.

When I wrote that original post, I was only concerned about the wall color. I had used Benjamin Moore’s Snowfall White in my (north facing) kitchen, (north facing) nursery, and (west facing) hallway. I chose it after weeks of deliberation, in which Decorator’s White (and most other whites) looked waaay too cold, gray, and blue. I also wanted a white that played well with our white Ikea kitchen cabinets. Snowfall White looks like a perfect creamy white.

As my bathroom is also north-facing, I thought about maybe using another white for the trim, but decided to be safe and use what I already liked. Ha ha ha.

Now, Benjamin Moore’s Atrium White looks here like a putty, right? I’d been reading a lot of Swedish design books, and I liked the puttiness of some of the walls and I wanted to replicate it here. The paint chip is the perfect warm pink/not-pink white.

Obviously, what you’re already getting a hint at here, is that the colors do not belong together. Snowfall White is already looking a little queasy next to Atrium White.

Because that Atrium White is pink. Snowfall White is actually green. They only exacerbate their tendencies when paired up in a north-facing, San Francisco room. It is subtle and tasteful, at least. My bathroom now looks perfect for an octogenarian living in Palm Beach in the 1980’s.

Here’s how to not make my mistake: Go searching down the paint chip to figure out what undertones you’re working with. 

Hello unfortunate color combination, would you like to make yourself at home in my bathroom?

Back to the drawing board for me. I’m debating going with Benjamin Moore’s White. That sounds like a nice, easy color, right?

For you, make sure to always look down the paint chip!