As babies and toddlers grow, it seems like they change drastically by the month. Some changes are easy to see –speaking a mile a minute all of a sudden, outgrowing shoes, deciding bottles are for babies — and other changes have to slap you upside the head. And then you look back on the past year and realize you’ve been unintentionally impeding their growth and independence.
Learning how to adjust with a growing child is a game of never-ending troubleshooting.
I recently figured out that I needed to adjust Bean’s wardrobe. If you’ve shopped for toddler clothes recently, you’ve probably noticed that it’s A) all completely adorable and B) involves a lot of leggings and skinny jeans. The skinny jeans are so cute! They look like little hipsters! Add in a pair of high tops or leather slides, and it’s the most precious thing you’ve ever seen.
Until one day your toddler informs you that she can’t go potty by herself because her pants are too tight. (“TOO TIGHT. PANTS TOO TIGHT. MOMMY HELP.”) Oh, wait, huh? All of a sudden, you are the mother who’s been encouraging your kid to use the potty independently, all the while dressing her in clothes she had no ability to take off or put on by herself. Right.
Out went not only the skinny jeans, but the leggings and dresses, and any pants with a button or zipper. (Have you ever seen a toddler try to pull down leggings while wearing a dress? It’s just the most frustrating and hopeless thing.) In came all of the roomy sweatpants.
The first day, she still expected me to do everything. I had to assure her these new pants were easy to take on and off. And the look of toddler thrill the first time she realized she could pull down her own pants! (“GO POTTY YOUSELF. MOMMY SIT OUTSIDE. POTTY YOUSELF.”) Now in the mornings, she inspects her clothing options and shouts for pants that are easy to take on and off. (“ON OFF, MOMMY, ON OFF.”) Not only does she now go potty all by herself, but as of this past week, she’s been insistent every morning on learning how to put her pants on all by herself too. Quite the change from the toddler who refused to even come to her room to get dressed in the mornings.
And it was all in the pants! Such a minor change, but such a huge obstacle in her evolution into an independent person.
