A few months ago, I wrote about how we’d had to start implementing Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility at the dinner table.

(Bean had gone full-born toddler on us and started hopping down and up and down and up from the dinner table. Other nights, she would look at her dinner, and push away and tell us she was all done.)

Both situations were emotionally difficult to handle — no parent wants to see their child go hungry. No parent wants to deny their child food after they’ve left the dinner table. But, we knew that begging, or allowing her to routinely leave the table and come back then leave then come back then leave, or following her around with extra bites would lead to longer term problems. We stuck to our guns and gave each other weak smiles and shrugs and “I feel bad” whispers.

But, we put on our game faces and let her know that, “Oh, ok, you’re all done eating? Ok. Wipe your hands and push your chair in.” No big. I’m not feeling like the world’s worst mother right now or anything, letting my child starve herself and likely develop scurvy, you go play with your toys.

Things have both improved and reached a steady state in the months since then.

The dinner table hijinx (leaving the table, returning, leaving) quickly ended after a matter of days. Dinners have returned to a very pleasant time for all of us to chat about our days and make jokes and laugh at each other. It’s very nice. Bean is talking a lot more, and one of my favorite things is watching her try to tell Dave about her day (“Wall ah Ah Cherie. Max. Hats go waaaay. O chiln fye em. O chiln pay. Hats go way.”) while Dave blinks at her.

Her desire to eat things on her plate has reached a steady state. She may try new foods, but she may also not. Just when I think she’s turning into a bread-only-please toddler, she dives head first into some Indian curry and I realize this is why Ms. Satter just lets the kid decide what/how much to eat. I have no idea why some nights she eats, others she doesn’t. Mostly because I’m not her and I have no idea how hungry or tired or full or uninterested she is. Let her decide; it’s her body.

The good news is despite all that, her weight and height percentiles have actually gone up slightly since she began her periodic toddler food strikes.

I feel that this points in Ms. Satter’s favor. Bean knows how her body feels and how much food her body needs better than I do. All I can do is provide her nutritious food; the rest really is up to her. In the meantime, I’m grateful that our dinners are happy and drama free.