Back when I was pregnant with Bean, Dave and I spent a couple days at Marble Mountain Ranch in the northern reaches of California, getting pampered and learned by the wonderful owners Heidi and Doug Cole. They had four grown children and a lot of advice to give, which we were all too happy to receive. These were parents who’d lived it, four times over, and raised four successful kids. Please please tell us what to do.

One of their tips was to have a Family Night, once a week, that all children and parents had to attend. If a sports schedule conflicted with family night, well then, they couldn’t play that sport. So, all through their busy and social teenage years, Doug and Heidi would round up their kids once a week and go out bowling or for ice cream or to the movies, or even just stay home and play board games. It was their way of making sure everyone connected and had fun together, once a week.

This is one piece of advice we’ve actually stuck to, for nearly 3 years now (ever since Bean could sit in a high chair). For us, Tuesday night is Family Night. Bean and I run down to the train to greet Dave coming home from work, and then we walk to a nearby restaurant while Bean regales Dave with everything she did/heard/thought/made today.

It has really worked out wonderfully, and I’m glad the Coles told us about it. Bean LOVES Family Night, and will dance around and sing “Yay Family Night” as we get ready to go. She loves meeting Daddy at the train and running to greet him, she loves giving the restaurant owners high fives, she loves smiling and laughing and waving at the waiters and waitresses, she loves being out at night. It’s all the most super best thing, as far as she’s concerned.

This has also been a useful and consistent way to teach her the rules of dining out, from a very young age, so that restaurant-dining seems normal to her and she can behave for an hour. (Or more if Grandma and Grandpa are in town and have scheduled in some serious adult restaurants.) (We go on Tuesdays at 5:30pm, figuring that’s the best time to coach up a toddler on dining etiquette without disturbing people.)

So, since she’s generally a well-behaved diner, this also gives me and Dave the chance to still try out new restaurants and take advantage of SF’s fantastic dining scene. It’s one of the perks of living here after all. I’m really not sure who enjoys Family Night more, Bean or us.

Bean is also a more adventurous eater at restaurants than she is at home, so I also hope this ritual is widening her palate. She loves curries and spinach dosas, will stuff down several rolls of sushi on her own, and is psyched when we find tangy dolmas.

As she grows up and can stay awake later into the evening, I can see how this will morph into activities like bowling, or movies, or going out for dessert as well. Family Night is such a welcome and happy break in the middle of our week.

Do you have any family rituals that you use to make sure everyone feels connected?