Looking back over the previous year, one thing I’m grateful I stuck to was including Bean in dinner preparation. I always knew I wanted to cook with her, but I didn’t intend to start at 14 months. With all the cooking I had to do, and with a toddler who insisted on being rightnexttomedon’tmoveMommyI’mcuddling, I started including her as a way to keep her away from the real danger: knives and ovens. (You do not want a toddler hugging your knees when it’s time to dump out the pasta water.)

Don’t get me wrong, cooking with a toddler is an exercise in patience and learning how to swallow your inner anxiety attacks deep down inside. Yes, your kitchen will be an absolute disaster after, you will be cleaning up nearly half the batter off the countertop and shoving it back into the bowl, and the process will take longer with little fingers stealing ingredients and running away with them. This is all true.

BUT, and this is why I’m grateful that I stuck to it despite how annoying it could be, you end up with a toddler who knows fruits and vegetables, and how each one is prepared. And, get this, she will actually be able to help you in the kitchen. She will do your tossing in olive oil for you (GLADLY), she can chop up a dinner salad for the family, and she can knead bread. She will plate her own food, and carry her plate to the table. The table that she set.

I step back sometimes and realize in shock: “Oh my God, she actually knows what she’s doing.” We’ve gotten to the point that I can throw some asparagus into a bowl, give her a baking sheet, and she knows how to do the rest.

(Of course, I’m the one that actually COOKS. Bean does the prep work; I do the cooking. Yes, she does find her little white lamb mittens in the closet, pull them on, and insist she can handle the roasting pan now. I promise I always turn down her offers. I’m not completely crazy.)

The remarkable thing about cooking with your toddler is how their knowledge compounds, in a very natural progression. The toddler wants to learn more and more, and they grab and force themselves into your work, trying to take on more responsibility. And then the next thing you know, they actually know what they’re doing.

So, let’s talk first steps.

I began cooking with Bean by letting her clean vegetables. I started when she could first stand unassisted, around 14 months old.

Toddlers love nothing more than playing with water, so I figured why not let her play with water in the process of cleaning the vegetables? We don’t have space for a learning tower, so she stood on a kitchen chair while I stood behind her making sure she didn’t fall.

Her arms were still a little short back then, so I also used a kid faucet extender. She stood on a chair in front of the kitchen sink. I placed a colander in front of her, and a large tray to the side. I slowly demonstrated how to pick up a vegetable from the colander, swish it under the water and rub it with your fingers, then place it on the tray. Repeat. (And, Montessori-style, I did this without speaking. The idea being that if you talk while demonstrating, the child is more likely to concentrate on your voice than your demonstration.)

Since this was the most fun thing I had ever let her do in her entire life, she picked it up within seconds. She was my brussel sprout cleaning wizard.

In addition to the superfunawesome playing with water part, this exercise was also highly educational. It was a chance to teach her vegetable and fruit names in a natural way. “Oh Bean, you forgot the sweet potato.” This was also a chance for her to touch and inspect each of the vegetables. Asparagus with their flowery tops were a particular hit.

Remember that there is no wrong way for a child to do this. If all the potatoes end up piled up on one corner of the tray, ready to topple over back into the sink, hold back on your urge to distribute them across the tray. This is her task; let her own it. She may surprise you and realize the potatoes need to be redistributed by herself. (At which point, you will unabashedly declare her a genius and call the grandparents.) If you don’t think she’s cleaned the vegetables well enough, either point out which part of the vegetable is still dirty and let her correct it, or clean it again after she’s gone off to play.

IF she ever goes off to play. After one turn washing the vegetables, Bean looked up at me all, “Alright, what’s next?” Next time, I’ll get into chopping vegetables.