It is too bad that pregnancy and baby care books continue to mostly speak to women. Men have been taking increasingly significant roles in their newborn’s lives, and significant roles in their partners’ pregnancy and delivery, for decades now. But, the modern expecting dad literature hasn’t really caught up.

When I got pregnant, we set out to find books for Dave to read too. Many of them were a little “bro” heavy, with lots of dumbed-down information and jokes. Dave found them condescending.

Here were the hits.

1. The Expectant Father by Armin A. Brott

This book is all about pregnancy, from the male perspective. I didn’t read it, but I (and all my friends’ whose spouses also read it when they were expecting), say that it had a transformative effect on their husband’s involvement in the pregnancy and childbirth. As in, their husbands’ attitudes changed overnight.

The book goes week by week like a regular pregnancy book, but also gives men a heads up as to what their partners may be feeling at this stage and what he can do to help his partner physically and emotionally. Every chapter also includes instructions for the husband (like, now would be a good time to look into your paternal leave policy. Or, you should look into college savings plans this month.)

It was kind of annoying, in the sense that when I started doing certain stuff (not waddling, no definitely not waddling), Dave would say things like, “oh, hey, the book said you’d do that.” And then one day he wanted to have a conversation about women’s feelings of guilt and disappointment over their birth experience. Not a conversation I thought he’d be the one to instigate. I’m also glad I didn’t have to be the one to teach him about round ligament pain and my loss of balance.

The author also has a book on fatherhood, which may also be worth a read: The New Father.

2. Be Prepared by Gary Greenburg

Ok, in all honesty, Dave did find this book to be condescending. But, I read it and liked it and was amazed at how Gary Greenburg managed to condense so much knowledge into a quick, often amusing, read. It may also contain the singular, most useful piece of advice: Dads, ditch the diaper bag and just use your backpack.

3. What To Expect The First Year by Heidi Minkoff

This isn’t technically geared at men, but we both found it to be so all encompassing that we consider it a must-have if not a must-read for all genders. It tells you how to do the stupid little things that you have no idea you don’t know how to do — like how to give a newborn a bath when it’s umbilical stump is still attached — in very fine detail. Because none of us have any idea what we’re doing at first.

I thought it also managed to deal with all the “controversial” topics like breastfeeding/formula, first foods, bottles and sippy cups, sleep training in such a matter of fact way, explaining all the options and what certain schools of thought encourage, that this book would likely work no matter what parenting approach you go with.

Happy reading!