You know that moment in the Marketplace when you start getting a little light headed and confused? Things are going slightly tunnel vision on you, you have a shopping list somewhere but you’d rather curl up into a ball right here instead.
And then the toddler announces she has to pee.
Immediate panic. Mental images flash of a puddle of pee, right there in the middle of Ikea.
Shopping cart racing. The shopping cart with the 6 ft turn radius. Toddler now repeatedly shouting with glee “POTTY TIME.” She is very proud.
Race through the maze. Realize you have no idea where you are going.
Stop to stare at one of those Marketplace maps. Blink.
Race through the maze. Try to use the “shortcuts.” Pass picture frames for the second time. Get stuck behind meandering couple.
Wonder whether she really has to go potty or is just Over This and figured out an effective exit plan.
Ask for help. Something something past the checkout.
Continue racing. Toddler still gleefully announcing POTTY TIME. Older couples smile at us wistfully (and with obvious amusement).
Shopping cart abandoned. On foot. “POTTY TIME” has turned into “Mommy
RUNNING!”
We make it. We return for our shopping cart. We check out.
And realize one of the containers I picked out was the floor model. He can’t sell it to me.
Usher in the sinking feeling of defeat, knowing that you’re already planning your next trip to Ikea.
