Sometimes, you pitch a so-horrible-it’s-actually-awesome idea to your editor, not sure why you even brought it up but knowing he’s going to hop right on it. Probably because your sick sense of humor momentarily blocks all sense of reason and care for your health and safety.

This is one of those times.

People from out of town like to go to Fisherman’s Wharf. It’s just a truism. Talk to anyone who’s just set foot in San Francisco for the first time, and they’ll be all, “HEY BRAH, we’re going down to the Wharf for some brewskies.” And before you can tell them what an awful idea this is, they’ve moved on to a sushi restaurant in some seedy Chinatown alley. It’s the way of things.

So, being servicey, I wanted to taste ALL the chowders from every questionable stand at Fisherman’s Wharf and honestly report back on where you should go, if you insist on going. And then I actually had to go and do it.

This is my clam chowder ranking, from best (relatively speaking) to worst to disqualified.

Check it out on SF Travel: Best Clam Chowder at Fisherman’s Wharf.